It Never Hurts to Ask!

Research shows that women often don’t ask, or don’t ask for enough, particularly when negotiating salary. But the impact of not asking is huge – something like a half a million dollars over the course of a career according to Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, authors of Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change, Bantam 2007. Additionally, women who do ask are often perceived in a negative light. But let's face it, that's not a good reason to avoid negotiating.

Negotiation comes naturally to some, but for the rest of us it is a skill learned and honed through practice. At Smith Executive Education we frequently offer negotiation training as a fundamental business skill in our programs for women executives. And, when asked to assume the role of negotiator, women will often say, "This role play isn't relevant to my situation - I'm never going to negotiate to buy a baseball team!" or some such comment regarding the content of whatever practice scenario the faculty has provided.

But here's the thing, the people negotiating to buy baseball teams didn't start out there - they learned by doing hundreds of smaller, less high-stakes negotiations. This really came home to me when Melissa Thomas-Hunt, one of our esteemed faculty from Darden, told a class of balking executives that one of her colleagues, a seasoned hostage negotiator, made it a habit to routinely walk into car dealerships and negotiate for a deal - just to keep in practice!

So recently, when I was searching for the perfect storage bench for my newly renovated entryway, a search online turned up a mix of overpriced designer pieces and cheap fiberboard schlock. I took a look at Craigslist and found an "antique" bench for sale right around the corner from me, and at around the same price as the cheap imports.

As I drove over to the antique shop, I anticipated seeing the bench and negotiating a break on the price. When I arrived, I asked to see the bench. It was good, really good... almost perfect for my space. I would happily have paid the asking price. Instead, I approached the owner and said, “I’m interested in the bench. The ad said $150 and excellent condition, but looking at it, I see that it needs some work. Will you take $120 for it?” He paused, went around the corner to check something, came back and responded, “The best I can do is $135.” "Great!” I said, "will you help me load it into my car?"

So what, you may say, a $15 break on the price!? But the point isn't the $15, it's that it never hurts to ask. Make it a practice!